MADISON Wisconsin (AF NEWS) - In a stunning news announcement being widely circulated on the internet by me, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker is expected to announce his resignation from the post at noon, on the Capitol Steps. Walker, besieged by rampant discord and non-stop protests, has indicated he just can't bear the stress anymore of running a state.
Walker began his remarks by indicating that he had grown wary of the Tea Party and disillusioned with the allure of the Koch brothers. Regarding the Tea Party, he opined that the modern movement would have better support today if, back in 1776, the founding fathers had thrown something other than tea off the ship. "I mean, for real, why couldn't it have been good old-fashioned reefer?" Like, if we were the BUD party, no one would be challenging us. Dude, we'd all just get be getting along. It would be really, groovy, man."