Roasted Nuts

Blowing Things Up Out Of Proportion? Making Mountains out of Molehills?

Posted by Andrew Franklin on Oct. 21, 2009 | 3 comments

Sigh, my faith in humanity has been shaken, and I'm just not certain where to go with it. 

Call them Bosom Buddies:  Miss California USA and Carrie Prejean.  It appears that venerable news organizations such as TMZ have reported that--gasp!--Carrie Prejean's bosom was enhanced!  And what's worse--gasp!--Miss California USA loaned her the money to do it!  And it appears now that the organization is countersuing for a return of the implants!

Faced with these twin disclosures, I'm just devastated.  I remember once upon a time, when such pageants were honorable events in which women of dignity, respect, and values demonstrated their worth by prancing about in cleavage-freeing dining attire, swimsuits never meant to be touched by water, and sashes.  Oh, the sashes!  Each of the contestants is someone of optimum skill and technical mastery, including opera singers, pianists, and, my favorite, ventriloquists.  What could be more inspiring than seeing an entire country come together for one night of glamour and tiaras.  Each of these 50 or so women represent their home states as ambassadors.  Leaders.  Dignitaries.  

And now the dreams are crushed.  Deflated.  Poof!  Until I read the article posted by CNN online today, I simply had no reason to doubt the natural beauty of the pageant's contestants.  How could someone be artificially enhanced for such a competition?  That sort of thing is illegal in the Olympics, after all, isn't it verboten in the pageant world, too?  I mean, when these contestants demonstrate their love for country--or orphans--or third world debt relief--I take pause to consider the message each presents, for each represents an important point of view in our interconnected world.  

That such important pro-social messages--such meaning--could be undermined by artificial enhancements, I think is quite tragic.  And that contestant officials were apparently complicit in this act, which undermines dignity and self-respect, is all the more shocking.  

According to CNN.com, it appears that once Prejean became Miss California USA, she became 'belligerent' and 'created conflict'.  Apparently the pageant officials "all agreed ... that Prejean needed bigger breasts if she was to be competitive in the national pageant in April."  http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/10/20/miss.california.usa.suit/index.html.  The story goes that because she didn't have the money for the surgery, pageant officials agreed to loan it to her.  At that point, Prejean received a medical referral to Richard Heene, of Denver, Colorado, who recently made news as  the father of the notorious 'balloon-boy'.  He's not a doctor, sure, but he is a self-proclaimed amateur scientist and apparent expert on hot air and bag-filling.

Pageant officials indicate that in addition to a financial award, they also intend to seek liberal visitation rights.  

 I haven't been this depressed since I found out professional wrestling is fake.